My mom is the most precious gift God has ever blessed me with. She gave me life itself. From the time of conception there was a connection. The umbilical cord that had us physically attached is the root of an emotional and spiritual connection that will last a lifetime. While in the womb what she consumes is transferred from her to me. What was hers becomes mine and without it life is not possible. I cannot think of a more intimate relationship from the start. With dad, siblings, friends and others I had to enter the world first, meet them, and get to know them before a connection could be made. But with mom the intimacy of the relationship occurred from the start; before I ever saw light.
Mom was my protector from the very beginning. Her amniotic sack kept me safe and enabled me to grow inside her. Mom was gifted with a sixth sense and knew me like no other. Even before I was born she knew when I was hungry, cranky or restless. She knew what I needed and when I needed it. Mom sacrificed from the start. She sacrificed her time, her energy, her sleep, her own safety, and her emotions to protect and provide for her children. She gave us life and without thought, would give hers to save ours.
Though I could not imagine mom’s experiences during labor, she would say that the pain during labor is unique to moms only, and is literally a labor of love. My mother suffered the physical and emotional pains of delivering 8 children, five of which she lost. Four due to miscarriage and one, a still born. She would tell me that God has a way of making a mother forget the incomparable pain of delivery so that moms could have more than one child if they choose.
My mother was like no other because although the umbilical cord had been cut 3 years earlier we would be literally connected again. You see, I began having seizures, was diagnosed with epilepsy by the time I was 3 years old. I had become an escape artist by then as well. This was a very high risk combination. So to keep me safe as she slept, my mommy literally tied my left leg to her right so she would awaken if I were to have a seizure or try to escape. When people ask, “Were you close with your mother” I can’t help but smile and respond by saying, we certainly were.
Mom and I were connected in many other ways as well. We often finished each other’s sentences. One knew what the other was thinking. The phone would ring right when one was going to call the other. We were both sensitive and caring people. We cared about many of the same things. I could talk to mom about anything. Yes anything. No disrespect to my father and God rest his soul, but it was mom who taught me how to fix my tie and coordinate my outfits. It was mom who I depended on to discuss the “birds and the bees” as I entered my teen years. Even if I had done something terribly wrong I would confess knowing that consequences were to follow. But I respected and trusted my mother like no other. I must also confess however, I also knew that she would find out what I did. I wasn’t sure how, I just knew.
When alcohol and depression had consumed my life, mom would insist that things would get better. It was mom who told me routinely how special I was and that better things were ahead when all I could think and feel was doom. Why my mother was like no other was because she had financial challenges all of her life, but provided. You see, we lived in the projects following my parents’ divorce and would sometimes have marshmallow roasts in the back of the building and had a lot of fun doing that. I found out years later that many of these “fun times” were to help fill our stomachs because there was limited food that had to be rationed. I also came to find that while we went to sleep happy and with full stomachs, she was crying quietly in her room.
My mother was best during crisis and again, she knew just what I needed and when I needed it. She knew just what to say or do. Whether it was the hundreds of stitches I’ve had, the collapsed lung, my two cervical fusions, drinking myself into stupors, and much-much more, my mother was there to soothe me, encourage me, or prepare me for the medical procedure that would occur shortly. I could depend on mom to be next to me when I regained consciousness. She not only gave me life, but she saved my life on more than one occasion. I spent many of my younger years in institutions. My mom had an ability to tolerate and endure like no other. She proved every day that her love was unconditional.
It’s been said that the eyes are the windows to a person’s soul. Should this be true, our souls were and will always be connected because when mom and I looked at one another a deep love filled my soul. The same soul that was empty and could only be filled in her presence. When the end was near and mom could no longer talk, it didn’t matter because when we looked in each other’s eyes, and knew we would be connected forevermore. For this reason we knew that things will be ok.
I say this today because like no other, the angel watching over me is my mother.
